Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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