what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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