i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You ate ashes out of my bong
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize