hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I think I just sharted jello shots
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