I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
