Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Help. Why am I so naked?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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