And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
