well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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