So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
