I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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