spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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