Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
