The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
