"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I just forgot I was standing up.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
