Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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