the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I just googled if crying burns calories
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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