so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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