After last night, I could never be a politician.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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