"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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