I can't watch pbs sober anymore
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
