For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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