I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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