I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Success! We fucked roommates!
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
