so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Randomize
