I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
