i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
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