I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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