then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
