he wants to bone in the snuggie
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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