i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
