Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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