why didn't you poke me back
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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