I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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