We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
