he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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