I'm going to jail i love you
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
