If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
