So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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