Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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