There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
