i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize