Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
