wanna go halves on a baby?
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
a search helicopter?!
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize