I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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