His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
