She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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