I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
