I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
This is my gift to your gina
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
