her vagine was all disorganized.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I did not marry a roomba.
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