We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
