Those balls look pretty dangerous.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
