Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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