Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
