it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
this boner is exhausting
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
