just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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