The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
