I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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